


it'll be fun, she said

by naktoms



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, hana swears a lot, hence the rating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 03:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7297138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naktoms/pseuds/naktoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Are you ever chilling with your bro and she starts screaming invective at people on the internet?</p>
            </blockquote>





	it'll be fun, she said

**Author's Note:**

> >subscribers check email  
> >"omfg"  
> >fandom: overwatch  
> >"what the fuck"
> 
> me and my friend cindy were shitposting on our privates about this. i decided it would be a good way to slide my way into this tag. what's up guys
> 
> kudos + comments are appreciated!! pls let me know if u want more quality OW shitposting

****_Play Starcraft with me,_ Hana said, _it’ll be fun_ , she said.

“ _Motherfucker!_ ” Hana screams, heard both from behind Lucio and through his headset. “You have _got_ to be shitting me! Shit on my fucking dick!”

Lucio, admittedly, knows jack shit about Starcraft. He did a brief google before Hana set up the match, just to check out some of the lore (that he still does not understand) and get a briefing on the gameplay before he jumped in. In the end, Hana ended up pursuing a single-player campaign while Lucio plays king of the hill with some randoms from the Battle Net abyss, because according to Hana she actually can’t “play with fucking scrubs”. Lucio makes a mental note to tell Jack that Hana is being mean to him over a video game.

“Bitch!” Hana screeches, and Lucio jumps in his chair, having zoned out somewhat while waiting for the match to reset. “Mother- _fuck_ me, god dammit.”

“Hana,” Lucio says, turning around in his chair.

“ _What_.”

“Is this really, uh… healthy?”

“What the fuck does that mean,” Hana deadpans, managing to dodge bullets while scratching her back.

“Well, just… all this screaming, y’know. Not good for the vocal cords, yeah?”

Hana pauses her game, turning to face Lucio. “Lucio, baby. I used to play this shit for a fucking living. It’s the same as it has always been, except I just screamed in Korean. Deal with it.”

Lucio stares blankly at her until she turns around once more, then shakes his head and returns to his own laptop.

 

_Play Mario Kart with me_ , Hana said, _it’ll be fun_ , she said.

“Eat shit, penis licker!” Hana shouts as she drifts past Lucio, who has just gotten red-shelled.

“Aw, come on,” Lucio says quietly, slowly regaining speed. “Not fair.”

“Totally fair, you’re just butthurt. Sore loser. Fuckin’ baby.”

Lucio pouts, but Hana isn’t even looking at him, too focused on completely rinsing Rainbow Road and leaving Lucio to die in the cold void of space. Lucio putters along in perpetual second place, but he can’t help but grin when Hana scoots through the finish line and throws her arms up victoriously.

Lucio manages to barely edge past Hana when they pick Bowser’s Castle, but this results in Hana beating Lucio mercilessly with her controller and eventually sitting on him while she selects the next course. Lucio sighs and presses his face into the couch cushion, resigned to his fate.

 

_Play World of Warcraft with me_ , Hana said, _it’ll be fun,_ she said.

“Lucio, you piece of shit, get out of the barber shop,” Hana complains loudly. “Lucio! I’m going to kick your fucking ass, get over here so we can do this fucking quest!”

“I’m getting a sweet new haircut!” Lucio whines, continuing to flick through the hairstyle options for his character.

“It doesn’t matter, you’re still gonna look like shit,” Hana counters dryly.

“Mean,” Lucio mumbles.

It’s a couple more minutes before Lucio decides on a hairstyle, exiting the barber shop satisfied. He finds that Hana has set fire to the village he is in.

“Aw, come _on_!” Lucio groans, twisting in his chair so he can see Hana. She’s snickering behind her hand, twisted around to look at him too. “You’re so mean, there are civilians living here! Think of the children!”

“ _Fuck the children!_ ” Hana proclaims loudly, returning her attention to the screen in front of her. Lucio rolls his eyes and sets about trying to put the fire out.

 

_Play Tetris with me,_ Hana said, _it’ll be fun_ , she said.

Lucio already doubted the sincerity of this statement, feeling that Hana was just trying to find a game Lucio might not be shit at. Now that Hana has thrown her controller at the TV screen, leaving a bluish-green streak in the display, he doubts it even more.

“It’s… literally just blocks…” Lucio says quietly to himself as Hana is forced to go find Jack to notify him of this new development. “It’s just blocks,” Lucio repeats, staring not at the paused game but at the damage in the screen. It looks like it’s bleeding to other areas, not just the one that caught the controller.

Lucio hears a distant yell of, “ _You did what?!_ ” and chuckles to himself. Then, he retrieves Hana’s controller to unpause the game and totally beats her ass.

 

_Stop playing competitive multiplayer games or I’m going to take every console in this house to the pawn shop,_ Jack said. _This fucking blows_ , Hana said.

But, in the end, Lucio would much rather prefer laying in Hana’s bed, Hana’s legs draped over his, scrolling through Twitter while Hana plays some RTS on her phone.

(Lucio still thinks he picked the bestest friend ever.)


End file.
